Comments on: Do’s and Dont’s at a Shiva House

By: more good advice from one who wishes he didn’t know « But Mostly Hers

more good advice from one who wishes he didn’t know « But Mostly Hers — Fri, 17 Jul 2009 00:52:49 +0000

[...] July 17, 2009 in Uncategorized http://holyexposures.com/wordpress/2009/07/16/dos-and-donts-at-a-shiva-house/ [...]

By: Mrs Belogski

Mrs Belogski — Thu, 16 Jul 2009 20:07:56 +0000

When my mother and I were sitting shiva for my father the worst comment was, “well at least he’s out of his misery now” and the funniest was the person who couldn’t remember whether to say Hamakom or U’lchol bnei Yisroel lo icheratz celev leshono” which is the one to keep dogs away

By: Larry

Larry — Thu, 16 Jul 2009 13:01:30 +0000

I’m Moshe’s brother and I could have co-authored this plus more.
Nachum- hilarious. If the mourner was a female and she didn’t make a macha’ah on the ‘mikudeshes’, i wonder if she would have to join the fellow’s harem?

My favorite experience during the 7 days was when one of our mother’s dear old friends came and was bawling all over the place until I finally said, “C’mon, lady, get out of here! We’re trying to have a shiva house. You wanna cry- go next door.” Of course, ahem, it was said in jest. No, really…

By: Nachum Kligman

Nachum Kligman — Thu, 16 Jul 2009 12:25:05 +0000

The mourner just looked at him with a look of disbelief (you can’t make this stuff up)

By: admin

admin — Thu, 16 Jul 2009 10:22:19 +0000

nachum, that’s hillarious. did the mourner accept the proposal

By: Nachum Kligman

Nachum Kligman — Thu, 16 Jul 2009 10:11:53 +0000

Good guidelines Moshe. It’s hard for everyone all around as the visitors don’t want to say anything bad yet don’t know what is the best way to give comfort. I hope you only have simchas and not have to go through this process again.

The most stupidest thing I have ever said in my life is when I was about 15 years old and happened at a shiva house.

A friend of mine lost his mother to the big “c” and this was the first shiva call I ever had to make. I remember I went with my older brother and two friends and was really nervous. When we walked in and it was my turn to stand in front of the mourner in the awkward “I’m not allowed to great you position” he started to talk to me and asked how I was doing. I said ok, he then asked me how my Mom was doing. My answer? “Thank G-d still alive”. At which point I turned around and walked out of the house and never had the guts to speak to him again until I befriended him on Facebook a month ago. He didn’t say anything so I’m hoping he didn’t remember.

On a less embarrassing note I know someone who when he was leaving the shiva house he went up to the mourner and instead of saying “HaMakom Yinachem” he said “Haray At mikudeshet Li…”

Simchas