The Israeli society in general, and the tight-knit haredi communities of Jerusalem, Ashkelon, and Ramat Bet Shemesh have been rocked by a number of high profile sexual abuse scandals in the past year.  It has always been a ‘hush hush’ issue, and when it does occur, the ‘problem’ (e.g. offender) is usually dealt with internally by being asked to leave for another community.
What’s changed in the recent months? Perhaps it’s the willingness of the abused to step forward and say ‘enough is enough’.
In today’s Jerusalem Post, an interview with the mother of one child who was allegedly abused at school says that we have an epidemic on our hands.

“There is complete denial here that there is anything wrong,” she continues. “I spoke to the rabbis and other community leaders here, but they all called me a liar and said that this kind of thing does not happen here… but it does.”

The incidents are not isolated only to the cases that make it to the news. Many parents, and more importantly, the children themselves, are afraid of reprisals from the community. Haredi parents are concerned that their kids will grow up with the stigma that they were once abused and the prospects of a normal ’shiduch’ (arranged marriage) will be slim.

“It is very difficult for individuals to break cultural norms and get the word out about what is happening,” he observes. “And sadly, when they finally pluck up the courage to do so, the authorities do not deal with it quickly enough, and then it becomes too late. People retract their statements, or the children refuse to talk about it.”

“I know this has happened in other schools, too, because I have since met several parents who tell similar stories about their children,” says Zehava, who met with other haredi parents earlier this week under the auspices of the Beit Shemesh-based community organization Lema’an Achai to brainstorm ways to tackle the issue.

The new levels of awareness have brought a number of parents to come forward and bring the secular authorities in to the picture.

“There are serious problems with sexual abuse among the haredim in general, and particularly in Beit Shemesh,” says Kadman, who has worked on several cases and has raised the problem with Welfare and Social Services Minister Isaac Herzog.

Sexual abuse is sadly a fact in every society. It is an ugly and abhorrent reality from which no community is immune. Sadly, even the righteous and closed communities of ultra-orthodox Judaism fall prey to this terrible reality. It is our duty to not let it be swept under the rug. We need to teach our children in very clear terms what is acceptable behaviour from grown-ups, and what can never be accepted. We need to implore our children to run away as fast as possible and yell for help if anyone ever tries to do something that is unacceptable. Our kids must be taught how to live in the real world. This cannot be swept under the carpet.